Mom and Deanna

The trick is to embrace every moment. Not two weeks ago did I find out that Mom was ready for a vacation. My stepdad, Kevin, was going on his annual "guys" weekend. Mom was saying just how much she didn't want to sit at home. I figured I'd take the chance to search for tickets online...you know just to see. I found a few round trip tickets for $300, out of both New Bern and Wilmington. How cheap!!! Especially considering how much I paid at Christmas.

Mom and my cousin Deanna just left. They arrived at 9:30 on Wednesday and left this morning at 4:30am. I had such a great time and had so much fun just hanging with them both. Not only did we go to Korbel (Mom's fave), but we also went on a SOMA pub crawl. I cannot believe it, but we all made it to the end. Granted, we were all mixed degrees of hungover. However, we did it.

Having Mom and Deanna here and being able to take them around the city was fairly profound, this through a fog that was just a 4 hour nap. But seriously, it meant alot to have Mom out here and be able to share that experience. I loved being that person that knew the city and the little nuances they'd like. However, I realized how great it was to have them here. How great it was just to see them.

When I was home, I saw my family and was in all of my familiar surroundings. It was comfortable, but it was also home. Now that I'm on my plan, having a part of home in San Francisco meet my home of North Carolina was a bit interesting. I love the city, yes. I love my family as well. We could've been happy doing anything, though. That was the great part. There was something else though. I loved the look in their eyes. Here we are in this international city. It was amazing to see it through their eyes.

I'm still on the plan very much, but love the opportunity to be somewhere that is a destination. Would my place in the world at the end of this be remote or metropolitan? What role does discovery and excitement for the "new" play in my plan? Not as sure at the moment on that detail. We'll find out.

In the meantime, I'm going to figure out how to put a countdown on this thing.

The Two Year Plan

I'm starting a two year plan. Actually, I've already started a two year plan.

I've lived in San Francisco for five and a half years. In that time, it was amazing. I remember my first ride in a taxi (there's a story there), on the bus, in the subway, and my first job interview (still there!!). I really embraced the city. The 4 years I spent in the Mission really helped by being so darn convenient to everything. I also liked the urban feel, just that, at any moment, something could happen. I was always with friends and doing something great. I've kept those friends and yet, inevitably, something happens.

I moved to Potrero Hill a year and a half ago. I've celebrated my five year anniversary with the company. I bought a car AND a computer in the same year. I'm eating better, going to the gym more, and my home life couldn't be any more like home. But there's something missing. I feel like I'm in a routine and really not taking advantage of the city I live in. C'mon, this is San Francisco; there's always something to do, right?

Further, I'm in those great years of the early 30s and really thinking about what it means to settle down. While I love San Francisco, I doubt I'd ever buy a home here. It's pretty costly, there's the worry of earthquakes, and, aside from friends, I don't have any ties here. My family is 3,000 miles away (2,975 if you take Hwy 40). Though I've tried, I've also not found someone I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

I'm 31, single, and healthy...what to do? Whenever I have those types of thoughts, I feel it's best to think about what I want to be when I grow up. I find it's good have a set of standards, preparations, and back ups in case the worse happens. Everything from having at least 3 months rent and utilities saved up to having a small overnight bag packed, I like to be prepared, just in case. But I've not had any kind of plans for myself as in philosophical, "direction of your life" goals.

I feel like I'm always trying to improve myself, but it's always little things here and there. I wanted to go to the gym more, so I do. It started out as one or two days and grew to four. I wanted to eat better, so I do (for the most part). Costco is a great way to stock up with healthy food and p90x really helped get me kick started. However great these are, they were small. I knew that if I wanted to find the passion in my life, I needed a goal. I needed a ticking clock always ticking away in my head and embrace every day, moment, and choice. Thus the two year plan was born.

It was almost like an epiphany if those are attainable through somewhat logical means. It's pretty arbitrary, though. I know goals should be hard and firm for most folks, but I feel life is a bit more fluid than that; we are 75% water, right?

First, I thought about where I wanted to be. Physically, mentally, whatever, I knew I wanted to be somewhere. Going home this past Holiday season really made me think. It was just what I needed this Christmas. I really wanted to spend quality time with my family. They needed to know how important they were to me and I found out how much I was important to them. I need some family back in my life and think about my roots. I also know I will always return, so buying property back East isn't such a bad idea. My mortgage there would be between half or a third of what I'm paying now for rent. Picture it: A small home by the beach...just me and my dog (when I get one) and my family. Not a bad goal to have, no?

Second, everything will fall into place as it stands now. My job is something I've been enjoying more and more as I've learned the tools of the trade. I couldn't imagine doing what I do anywhere else. I think they feel the same way, so why leave. There is also the benefit of working for a small, online company. I could do my job remotely if a life altering event were to occur (i.e. a compelling need to move).

Lastly, I need to teach this old dog new tricks. As most of us do, it can be easy to get stuck in a rut or routine. I like the fact that so much of life isn't planned, but I've been pretty planned out over the past few years. Now, I need to get some of that spice back, but also make sure I'm not doing it all in vain. I'm working on improving myself little by little along the way, but not the little things like above, but the hard things.

For example, I want to quit smoking. This year is going great, but it's one craving at a time. I've not bought a pack and have barely had a few a week. Granted, that's not being quit, but it IS the process of. I also want to be better at keeping track of myself online. Thus, creating a blog. Putting something new into my routine. When God closes a door, he opens a window. There's something to that and I'm thinking this room has a few windows. I make the statement now that I hope to post something each day. I know it's one of the small things, but will probably be just as hard as not smoking. Be patient (btw, that's more for me than you, true believers).

I live in one of the most amazing cities in the world. It's changed me. It's become a part of me. It's the longest relationship of my life and I feel like I've dropped the ball. I got comfortable. I stopped being romantic. I suppose it's fitting that I'm posting this on Valentine's Day. After all, a two year plan is to help me out and make myself better person. Consider this a love letter to myself and a commitment that I will stay true to my goal.

Happy Valentine's Day, Andy. Here's to another great year or two.